So its D day today. I only need once
thing from 2017 to eclipse all others even 2016, despite the start to it I am
having, and that’s a Spartathlon finish … but time is running out this year to
start to build back the fitness and confidence I need and which I had just
6months ago... or 6 years - it seems that long now.
I know from the twinges I had last
night and this morning that my knee is far from fixed. If I can’t return to
light running after my next MRI at the end of April then I reckon I’m f***ed.
Returning to running in May will give me 5months and even if GUCR is out, a
plan with Nomad 50 and KACR in it will probably be enough … but only just. Any
longer without running then I will struggle to build sufficient fitness,
strength and confidence. All 3 are important. I had them in droves last year
and the speedy loss of them all is destroying me. Negativity is a mindkiller
and something I regularly suffer from. Last year I had good reason to be
positive but working from this low point is feeding the negativity at present.
I will be really distraught if I don’t
get in, especially if it turns out I can
recover in time and it will make me even more depressed than I am right now but
it may be for the best ultimately and give me 4 names in the hat for 2018 and
with a much better build-up. But if I don’t get in just what can I actually achieve
in 2017? Spartathlon would rescue 2017 but otherwise it’s a big black hole.
But what if I get in? Well, I have
until April 20th to complete my application form and May 20th
to actually pay (£450). I will therefore have to complete my entry form before
my next MRI but won’t have to pay and therefore finally commit, for another
month after it (but before GUCR). It means I would have to finalise my entry
before GUCR, but I am probably going to have to pull out of that anyway. So, I can wait and see
what my next MRI says but if it means I can’t start running in May, what do I
do? If I pay and then can’t run by Sept I will have lost £450 and be back to 1
name in the hat for 2018 – but I will be back to 1 name in the hat whether I go
or not, if I’m offered a place so it’s just the £450 I will lose if I can’t
go/run ultimately, and in the scheme of things I can stand that.
I really don’t want to be in a position
of getting in, paying and then having to go to Greece on a wing and a prayer
though, since that’s what I’ve done so many times before and there is only one
result. But if I get in and go/fail or don’t go at all, I’ll still be back to 1
name for 2018, and with only limited prospects of getting to race there ever
again … unless I can autoqualify and that’s even more remote a possibility than
it was this year.
Live draw is 17.00 Greek time – 15.00
UK time. How long does it take to draw 390 names?
15.24 and it’s even harder than usual
to work on anything, so much hangs on this draw for me – for better or worse. I
can’t work out what is going on since its all in Greek and I can’t find a list
of who has been drawn out so far, but it’ll all come out in the wash I guess. I
should know though in the next 24hrs whether I have to hope on recovery/build
fitness as soon as practicably possible or have another year. The third
alternative is of course what happened last year – to not get in but to be high
enough up the reserve list so as to be tortured with forlorn hope for another
few months, only to be cruelly let down right at the last minute … the 1st
not to get in out of 400 runners.
Whats the worst that can happen? Well, that’s
easy – get in and don’t start running till June/July. Go there nowhere near fit
enough and hobble to a painful halt just past Megara in the hottest weather for
years … yet again. And the best that can happen? Well, that’s even easier. Get in,
make a slow and steady dedicated recovery to fitness and do what I’ve always
known I can do – finish. With positivity in mind it can still happen too … until tomorrow anyway.
